In a list of most ironically named albums, the debut album from this Leicester four piece would certainly be worth considering. They have thrown a lot into the pot and produced a melange of styles that, for me, doesn’t represent a cogent release; it feels uncomfortable to listen to.
It’s a metal album…I think
It starts promisingly enough. The opener is an atmospheric precursor to a nice bit of post metal in the shape of ‘Seraphim & Cherubim’. This is a large track with synthesised beats behind walled guitars broken up with chunky riffs as well as some nicely under produced, live sounding drums. This gives way to a high end major key piano hook which seems pleasant enough but just renders everything a bit too Evanesence.
Somewhat surprisingly they don’t have a designated pianist in the band. I say this because nearly every song gives way to the same piano refrain. I may be being unfair; it may be the same notes in a different order. It’s giving me a headache after track three, ‘The Paris Hilton Sex Tape’ and I want it to stop. As much as I loath her very essence, I’d much rather be watching that. I’ve listened to the album two or three times now and I’m still under the illusion that this time they won’t drive me to further insanity by putting the piano in again.
’We Called For An Ambulance But A Fire Engine Came’ fails to live up to the quality of the title. Industrial beats are far from my favourite thing, but a little consistency somewhere, boys, would be welcome. This track is indicative of the album. Stylistically it’s all over the place. The next track (I’m fed up with looking up the titles) is no better. It’s like Chris Martin and Trent Reznor having an argument over a typewriter. And the Piano riff is back in earnest. It seems to be the cornerstone of the piece! And what are these awful whimsical vocals about? Listen for fun; writhe with laughter at the dramatic irony of the pleading refrain ‘Stop! Stop! Do not engage’. The female vocal that crops up on a couple of songs is an aural offence of the highest order and once again leads me to press ‘stop’ for a respite.
‘CNTRCKT’ at under two and half minutes is the only track I’d choose to listen to in its entirety more than once, partly because the length allows me to do more things with my day, but moreover because it’s a genuine metal track with no flouncy synthetics or damn piano. Indeed one of the albums greatest strength at less than forty five minutes is its relative brevity by modern standards.
Maybeshewill: Well you never know, but in the words of George Costanza, ‘Sometimes you do…’
Released 12/05/08 on Field Records
